Boy? Girl? Boy? Boy...oops, Girl

Why do people always assume, if they can't tell, that babies are boys? I understand that a lot of times babies look genderless, but in that case, why don't some people guess it's a girl? I've rarely had people ask "is your baby a girl?" but frequently have people ask "is your baby a boy?" or refer to Charlotte as a he. Now, I'm not offended that they are confused, I admit to being unsure myself a time or two (not about Charlotte, but about other children). What does bother me, however, is that they automatically choose boy instead of girl, like it is less offense to call a girl a boy than it is to call a boy a girl. Why is that the case? Is it really worse to think your little boy looks feminine than your little girl masculine? Not that babies really look one way or the other.

And therein lies my point: for babies and even to some extent very young toddlers, where physical characteristics of gender are not yet well defined, no one should be be insulted if their child is called the wrong gender, and people shouldn't worry about offending people if they accidentally get a child's gender wrong. So why do most people pick boy over girl most of the time? I find it more offensive that people assume that babies are boys instead of girls if they can't tell. And really people, if a kid is wearing something with pink on it, why would you think that kid is a boy? Sure, sometimes Charlotte wears neutral color clothes, but if a baby looks genderless but has other hints as to their gender, why would you assume boy? I really think it has something to do with the fact that people are more concerned about messing up and calling a boy a girl than calling a girl a boy. It is somehow easier to forgive people for calling a girl a boy, and more offensive to assume that a little boy is a little girl.

 Maybe I'm making too big a deal out of it, and again I repeat that no one should really be that offended either way because most babies look rather genderless (unless they have some clear cultural indicator of gender, such as color of clothes or style of clothes), but more often than not people err on the side of calling a girl a boy rather than risk the possibility of mistakenly calling a boy a girl. I am not the only one to be in this situation; one of my sisters has a little girl who for a long time was often called a boy despite having a girl's name and wearing very feminine clothes. Are people really that afraid of accidentally assuming that a boy is a girl that even when there are obvious indicators they still err on the side of calling a little girl a boy? Sometimes babies look like the opposite gender, or rather, they have no clear gender, and it is or at least should be ok to assume either way, girl or boy, until told or corrected by the parents. No one should have to worry about offending parents or their children by accidentally picking the wrong gender. And if you are really unsure and don't want to risk offending someone one way or the other, just say "the baby", "your child", etc. until you are told a name which will hopefully give a clue (although it happens more often in these days that that doesn't help) or the specific gender. I actually called a toddler on a playground a girl once because he had longish curly hair, which apparently was the mother's way of having a "stylish" child, but really made him look like a her, and so what? No one was offended, I realized my mistake after the mom said "he" and said his name out loud, and no one was any worse for the wear. I just think it's a little bit sad that people would rather assume boy just in case they are wrong about thinking it's a girl.

And that's my rant for the day.